And it came to pass in the
Age of Insanity that the
Brainless Twits, citizens of a wondrous land called "America," having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader the person known as “
The One,” He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning.
But, He hypnotized the
Brainless Twits telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence for I shall save you with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed."
And the
Brainless Twits rejoiced, for even though they knew not what “
The One” would do, he had promised that it was good. And the
Brainless Twits believed.
And
The One said, "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!"
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Hallelujah!! Change is good!"
Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats."
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Sock it to them! And redistribute their wealth. Show us the money!"
And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."
And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the dead beats??"
And
The One ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.
A lone reporter asked, "Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was banished from the kingdom!
Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"
And
The One said, "It is simple. I shall sit with them, and talk with them, and show them how nice we really are. And they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!"
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free GM cars for the people!"
Then
The One said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes."
And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes."
So
The One said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"
Then
The One said, "I shall tax your capital gains taxes when you sell your homes!"
And the
Brainless Twits yawned. And the slumping housing market collapsed.
And He said, "I shall mandate employer-funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited health care and medicine and transportation to the clinics."
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Give me some of that!"
Then He said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Where's my rebate check?"
Then
The One said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!"
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we really don't care for that part about higher electric rates."
So “
The One” said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"
Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let us grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, multi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..."
And the
Brainless Twits said, "Hallelujah! He really cares!" And they made him King!
And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank as a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the
Brainless Twits were without a means of support.
Then
The One said, "I am the '
The One' - The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!"
But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Just a minute, bozo, your dollar is already worth no more than a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..."
And the
Brainless Twits whined, "Wait a minute. That's not fair!!"
And the world replied, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a second-rate power, a shining, socialist, banana republic. Now you shall play by our rules!"
And the
Brainless Twits cried out, "Alas!! What have we done?"
But yea, verily, it was too late. The
Brainless Twits set upon “
The One” and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was "Oh, Poop!"
And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud
Brainless Twits were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the "change"
The One had given them was as a poison that had destroyed them, like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.
And the
Brainless Twits beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!"
But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.
You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW!
Author unknown but, verily, verily I say unto you, very smart, indeed.
And,
The One? Known as Buttcrack Insane I'llbombya.
'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant; it's just that they know so much that isn't so.'- Ronald Reagan
